Thursday, March 19, 2009


I am going to the vet tomorrow.

A new one. Whoopee. Another car ride. I'll get to look like Red Riding Hood in that pouch which thrills me no end.

There is one thing to keep in mind before this magical moment you've planned.

I was peacefully asleep, then I heard the two of you discussing my well-being. Every time you guys "go there", I pay the price.

I mean, I do my part of this bargain, you have a piece of fur sculpture that poses like the Buddha met the Passion of Cat.

Yet, what do you guys do in the name of Feline Health?

Let's have a friendly fireside chat, shall we?

I am pleased you look into the vets' background, that they graduated from Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine, one of the best in the nation, home of the original CAT DOCTOR.

My peaceful state of mind was shattered when I heard the both of you laughing your heads off as you watched some video you got off the new vet's website at Cornell's Feline Health Center. At

They are a "veterinary medical specialty center devoted to improving the health and well-being of cats everywhere". My Fellow Cats, run for your lives!

I have a tip for you. See that claw? You were not watching "Brushing Your Cat's Teeth". Nope. This is what had you two on the floor...

HOPE I have made my point. Let's change our context to the other end of the matter shall we?

A word about the diet issue that frequently comes up with vets. Do not even think about changing a thing.
I like the Gerber Turkey and Rice Stage 2 you introduced into my life, though it took a reading of "Spit McGee" by Willie Morris to finally convince you do go ahead.

I am very picky, I don't eat fats, and only the highest quality freshly cooked proteins. If it isn't fresh shrimp, fresh tuna or turkey don't bother. I don't like salmon, it's too oily, and don't even think of giving me fish oils over my kibble.

I will eat brown rice, rice pasta, cooked oatmeal, some mashed beans and I do like soy sauce, light curry and tomato sauces from time to time. If you can find that Heinz tomato soup at your new supermarket that would be much appreciated.

I am NOT fat. I lost weight from the time I looked like Mr. Wide Body pictured here. We Tonks are large and well muscled. Bricks wrapped in fur remember?

Look at this guy, a CFA category prize winner from the Aqua Show no less.

Doesn't he look just like me?

He was at the Sea of Aqua show and I just want you to note that his body is as solid as mine, well, sort of... I don't HAVE to jump for MY